The Magic of the Movies

The Magic of the Movies

This blog started out as a self-care resource and as I look back, I’m shocked that I never shared my favorite self-care activity: going to the movies.  I know the whole spiel about how the movie theaters are dying out, thanks to streaming services, but to me, the movie theater is one of the most magical places in the world.  There’s nothing quite like the lights dimming and for a brief few hours, there is nothing in the world except the story you are being shown on the screen. It’s being swept away and you feel everything with no buffers– it’s happiness, it’s sadness, it’s terror, and it’s love.  The music bellows around you and you’re not you anymore, all that matters is the adventure on screen.

 

It’s similar to that feeling I used to get as a young kid reading a great book– everything drifted away as the words circled around me, forming a new world.  As I got older, distractions came in and when I sit down with a book, I still feel the vibration of my phone, the sounds of the world around me on the metro, and the thoughts that never stop running through my head.  The movie theater is special to me because it takes out all those distractions. I turn my phone off, I sit in the silent theater, and my thoughts focus in on the story that encompasses all my senses. It’s the one spot in the world that I truly feel I can disconnect and when life gets overwhelming or I feel a bit alone, the movie theater is the first place you can find me.  It’s magic.

 

To honor my love for the movies, I thought I would share my four of my favorite movies of all time, though this list (other than number one) is constantly changing and my favorite quote from each.

 

  1. Breakfast at Tiffany’s 

 

Favorite line: The blues are because you’re getting fat and maybe it’s been raining too long; you’re just sad, that’s all. The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you’re afraid and you don’t know what you’re afraid of.

 

  1. You’ve Got Mail

Favorite line: “Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life – well, valuable, but small – and sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven’t been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn’t it be the other way around?”

 

  1. Begin Again

Favorite line: “Absolutely! That’s when the magic happens.”

  1. 13 Going on 30

Favorite line: “You don’t always get the dream house, but sometimes you get pretty close, you know?”

 

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Living My Truth: Being Vulnerable on Social Media

Living My Truth: Being Vulnerable on Social Media

“Love Yourself Instead of Loving the Idea of Other People Loving You”

I saw this quote come up on my Instagram feed and I immediately felt seen.  This quote encapsulated my struggle so well, so I shared it on my story. When a friend reached out then saying she related and started telling me her story, I felt I had to share my own story– I had to share why this quote meant so much to me and touched me so much.

So, I sat down on my bedroom floor (the spot with the best lighting in my apartment) and I recorded a video about losing myself sophomore year of college.  I had the perfect life on the surface– a big group of friends, leadership on campus, a great internship, and good grades– but, I was still so unhappy. I felt lost.  I was at a point of doubt with my religion and I was seriously questioning if God was real and if He was, did it even matter? I made a lot of decisions because of groupthink, rather than using my own judgment.  I was always with people and yet, I had never felt so alone in my life. I thought I had to love myself because others loved me, but I wasn’t happy with myself. I finished recording (after a few takes) and hit post.

Immediately after uploading, panic hit.  Had I shared too much? Would the people who knew me during that time period judge me and unfollow me?  Did people even want to hear about my struggles with faith?

I’ve shared my stories in the past, but this was scarier to me than usual and for a while, I couldn’t understand why.  Then, it hit me. I was sharing this story simply to share and for no other reason.

When I speak about anxiety, I’m speaking to share, but also because I want to be a resource to anyone who is struggling.  When I talk about social media comparison culture, it’s because I want to be part of changing this culture. In those moments, I am working for a higher purpose.

When I posted about feeling lost, confused, and unhappy, I simply shared because I wanted to be real.  I wanted to take off the mask for a moment and say my honest truth without trying to put a spin on it. And telling the truth, for no reason than wanting to show reality, is really scary.  It leaves you at your most vulnerable, but those are the moments that matter.

I don’t think we tell the truth enough.  I don’t think we’re real enough, with ourselves or others, enough.  We always have an agenda or are trying to put a spin on things. Right now, I’m conquering my fears by just telling my truth.  No spins, no masks, just me.

February Goal Check-In

February Goal Check-In

Can you believe it?  We are two months into the year already and it just feels like 2019 is flying by.  With the year rolling and the semester halfway done already, I feel this is a good time to do a goals check-in and set some goals for the rest of the semester.

Goal Check-In:

Goal #1: Plan Less: This was my biggest goal for the year and the goal I’ve seen the most progress on.  I’ve said goodbye to my Google Calendar, where I would plan out every single minute of my day.  I mean it– I would create time periods for sleep. Productivity was the name of my game, but I just ended out burnt out and unhappy.  With a less structured schedule, I’ve made time in my life for the moments you don’t always predict– the meetings that run over, the random run-ins and catch-ups with friends, and time to relax and breathe.  I’ve still got a LOOOONG way to go on this goal, as I usually can still be found making plans weeks in advance and still have a pretty stuffed calendar, but I’m getting there.

Goal #2: Spend More Time with Friends: Whenever I get busy, I tend to isolate myself and only spend time with the people who directly relate to whatever I’m busy with, whether that’s work, extracurriculars, or class.  Whenever I do that, I create a stress bubble for myself, as I’m only around people who share my stresses and struggles. I’ve been trying to make time for all my friends this semester and I’ve been doing pretty well on this.  I’ve been getting coffees and dinners with friends I wouldn’t otherwise see and Facetiming my long distance friends.

Goal #3: Get to the Gym: This is the goal I have been so sporadic about.  There are some weeks where I get myself to the gym daily with excitement about the next episode of my podcast.  And then, there are weeks when I can’t even fathom where I’d get the forty-five minutes a day to spend at the gym.  I’d day I’d score like a 4/10 on this goal so far.

Where do I go from here?  Well, I consider the progress I’ve made so far and use that to help me form new goals for the rest of the semester.  Here’s what I have so far:

  1. Continue to try to plan less and be more spontaneous.  Try to go into a weekend with nothing on the calendar and just make it up as I go.
  2. Make time for myself.  I often feel like on the weekends, I’m exhausted from everything and just need some time to decompress with myself.  I want to start making time a few times a week for me to do this so it doesn’t pile up.
  3. Actually get to the gym consistently.  I really want to get into the habit of going daily or every other day and so, this is a goal I want to continue working on.
Do What Scares You: Learning to Be Alone

Do What Scares You: Learning to Be Alone

People always say you should do what scares you in order to grow.  That’s an intimidating concept at its core and one I have ran away from for a long time.  What scares me? Being alone.

I’m not scared of being alone in the romantic comedy sense, but rather, for the majority of my life, I was scared to actually do anything alone.  My freshman year, I skipped a lot of meals in the dining hall because I was too scared to eat alone. Why? I was so scared that everyone who was there with their friends would judge me for being by myself.  In my head, I could hear laughter about how I had no friends. In reality, no one even batted an eye, but my inner monologue and fear controlled me.

When I went to Disney, I felt it was time to change: I only had five months to take in this place and if I only did things when others were around, I knew I would leave with regrets.  So, I did park days by myself. I booked meals for one. I explored the resorts when I wanted to. I also spent time with my friends and enjoyed their company, but I didn’t let my fear of being judged stop me from doing things alone too.  It was about balance: I could be alone or with people.

So, I want to share with you all my favorite ‘alone’ activities, in case you’re new to spending time with yourself like I was.

 

  • Coffee Shop.  I’m convinced there is some hidden power in coffee shops (and I’m not talking about caffeine) because when I’m in them, I find it completely comfortable to be alone.  I love working in coffee shops and so, I often bring my laptop to write an essay and do some readings, but I’ve also found I love coffee shops for relaxing alone time: I love just bringing a book and sitting and reading in a coffee shop.  It’s a space where so many other people are by themselves that this whole idea of being judged for being alone goes away.

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  • Museums. The first place I ever went by myself was the Renwick Gallery in Washington, DC.  Going to museums alone is one of my favorite activities, because you get to explore at your own time and pace and be taken away by what strikes you.  I spent a good half hour just staring up at the ceiling at the Renwick and it was amazing– never before would I have been able to spend that type of time like that.

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  • Shopping.  This one intimidated me.  I had always gone shopping with either my mom, my sister, or my friends, but never alone.  However, when I shop alone, I find I’m willing to take more risks in what I try on because I’m not worried about anyone commenting on how awful something looks on me.  So, I try on things that look horrible but sometimes, I find a surprising good find that I would have completely missed out on otherwise.

 

I still hate eating alone at a sit-down restaurant and I sometimes hear that inner voice telling me everyone is judging me, but I’ve also found a solace in being alone and learning to enjoy my own company.

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One of my favorite photos from Disney that I took on what started out as a solo park day (I ran into friends who I then spent time with): Ariel in the Festival of Fantasy Parade

 

Some Changes to the Blog + My First Style Post

Some Changes to the Blog + My First Style Post

Recently, I’ve decided to change some things with the blog.  First, the tagline has changed from “The Self-Care Diaries” to “Self-care, Style, and Sass.”  I decided to make this change to the blog because I felt like I was too boxed in to be real. I promised in my very first post that this blog would be somewhere that I would honestly share my life completely and authentically.  When I just focused on self-care though, I wasn’t able to do that. I wasn’t able to share my passions and my interests and at times, I felt fake. I wasn’t sharing who I was completely and so, I decided to incorporate sass and style into the blog.  I am a sassy person– I’m well known by friends for my sassy little comments and I want you all to get to know that side of me outside of just my “real talks” on Instagram. I have always loved fashion and for a long time, I dreamed of going into the fashion industry somehow, whether that was launching my own fashion line or being a fashion journalist.  I want to bring that love of fashion and style forward into the blog. So I am very excited to give you my first style post of five items I’m in love with this week:

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  • The Marled Tie Back Sweater from Loft  This sweater is currently on sale for $35 and I am so in love with it.  I love everything that involves bowes and I especially love this pretty light pink color.  I think the bow and this shade of pink make this sweater have a really feminine sweet vibe to it that makes it the perfect sweater for your Galentine’s Day or a chill night out.

 

 

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  • Satin Wrap Blouse from Anthropologie My favorite pieces are ones that combine comfort with style and this shirt does exactly that.  I love wrap tops: I find them so flattering and simple, while being very comfortable and easy to wear.  The satin gives this shirt a level of elegance to it that I love and if you can’t tell, pink is my favorite color.

 

 

 

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  • Eyelet Skirt from Vineyard Vines I love this skirt because it is an amazing transition season skirt and can work for multiple occasions.  You can put it with a button down and tights for a winter business casual look, but you can wear it with sandals and a t-shirt and it is a perfect spring/summer casual look.  Items like this are the ones worth it, in my opinion, because you get so much use out of them.

 

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  • Tier-Sleeve Pullover Sweater in Coziest Yarn from Madewell  I am obsessed with the tiered sleeve look right now and am so happy it is in style.  I also think burnt orange is a great color for winter and you can bring it out of your closet again for fall, making it another item that has a lot of potential to actually see use.

 

 

 

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  • Trouvé Reese Crackle Ring Crossbody Bag from Nordstrom I honestly believe ring handles are the best thing to happen to fashion.  I got a ring handle bag on sale from Anthropologie that is no longer available and I am so in love with it that I am now looking for other ring handle bags.  I love the shimmery metallic look from this one and rose gold is my signature color.
Making Weekends Work for Me

Making Weekends Work for Me

As a kid, I was woken up every morning by my mom telling me the weather in the happiest young.  I always responded with a groan and “ten more minutes…five more minutes…just one more minute.”  You could say that I am definitely NOT a morning person. I’ve tried to be a morning person and hit up that 7 AM spin class so I could get my workout in and start some work before the day even really began.  But, it never worked. I ended up despising the gym, feeling exhausted by my lack of sleep because I only got about 4-5 hours because of the early wake up, and I didn’t really get anything done.

One formula doesn’t work for everyone.

Mornings don’t work for me– they are not how I become more productive or happier as a person.  So, this semester, I’m trying something new: I’m doing weekends differently. In the past, my weekends included me waking up around 10, struggling to do work all day but feeling really distracted, and meeting up to go out with friends at night.  I would end up drowning in work on Sundays because Friday and Saturday had been pretty unproductive. So, this semester, I’m changing my schedule to work with my own personal productivity.

I like working at night.  6 p.m. is when I start to feel energized and focused so now, that’s when I’m starting my work on weekends.  During the day, I’m enjoying myself. I felt like in the old schedule, I never really spent quality time with people during the weekend.  Maybe, we went out to a party together or to a big dinner, but I never got to have the long conversations and connections I really wanted to have.  So now, I’m having coffee and lunch and sometimes, even breakfast with friends on the weekends. Another thing I found was I had bogged my weekends down so much in work and honestly, not being productive, that I was never getting to spend time in D.C. and enjoying this city.  With my new schedule, I actually have time to go to the museums I love and take advantage of all the opportunities that exist here.

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I am literally overjoyed by having the time to enjoy D.C. again.

So, this quick post is just to tell you: do what works for you.  Don’t have a schedule that leaves you feeling disconnected and unproductive just because that’s the conventional way of doing things.  Change the pattern and you might find life looking a lot easier and happier.

Staying Organized & Accomplishing Goals

Staying Organized & Accomplishing Goals

With the start of a new year, there’s a sense of excitement.  There’s a million ideas and goals floating around. After the initial excitement and urgency wears off, reality sets in: if you’re not organized, all of your resolutions will be failed and forgotten before January even ends.

There are some people who organization comes naturally to, I am not one of them.  Despite my best efforts, my tiny dorm room quickly becomes cluttered and papers start to disappear.  However, this disorganization has gotten me to invest in some fool-proof ways to get and stay organized throughout the year:

 

  • Invest in a good planner. I love Google Calendar as much as the next person, but I do find that when I write things physically down, I am more reasonable about my commitments and time.  I also am obsessed with my planner and adding stickers to my monthly calendars– the pretty aesthetic really gets me to stick with it.
  • Write everything down 3 times. Repetition, repetition, repetition.  It works. I keep three calendars, write down all my goals 3 times, and set 3 alarms.  By the third time, it is ingrained in my head and I am ready to face the task, piece by piece.
  • Buy everything you need before you start a task.  At the beginning of the your task, make sure you have all the materials you need.  There is nothing worse than looking at your next step and realizing you have none of what you need to do it.  Your productivity plummets as you recognize you have an additional step now to achieving your goals. Avoid this problem– buy all your materials in advance.  For me, I buy all of my pens, highlighters, books, and notebooks before classes really start up.
  • Prioritize your to do list.  Life piles up and it’s easy to think everything is urgent– it gets overwhelming.  Make a to-do list with three sections: high, medium, low. High priority items are ones that must be done by tomorrow, medium is within 2-3 days, and low is non-urgent.  I also often will make an event section of my to-do list, so that I am reminded of my time commitment and make a reasonable schedule for myself.
  • Work with others, when possible.  When you make commitments to others, you are more likely to stick with it.  Make plans to study with a friend, workout with a buddy. Staying organized is so much easier when someone else keeps you accountable– use your support system to help you be the best version of yourself.

 

I hope these tips help you with all your goals and share your goals so we can work together to achieve success.