“Everyone has it together except for me” is a myth

“Everyone has it together except for me” is a myth

Sometimes, it feels like everyone has it all together except for you.  Everywhere you look are people who have it all figured out for the next ten years and then, there’s you.  You don’t even know what you’re having for dinner tonight, let alone what’s in your path five years, or even one year down the line.  It feels like the world is spinning too fast and you’re at risk of falling off the planet altogether.

BREATHE. You are not alone in this.  There is nothing wrong with you and I promise you, gravity will not abandon you anytime soon.

Behind the Picture

Often, we assume we know people and their lives better than we actually do.  We forget that we only see what other people want us to see and with that, we miss most of the story.  The girl who has our dream job doesn’t share the tons of interviews she went on before she landed that job.  She doesn’t share her struggle with mental health that affects her daily. She only shares the perfect pictures with the world– the good times, the perfect-fitting suits, and the success.  We assume we know her life, but we don’t see any of it. This is not to say she is not doing well and her successes shouldn’t be celebrated, but rather that it is not all picture perfect. She does not have it all together all the time– she’s just convinced us she does.

Making it Through

Personally, I find there’s something comforting when you take the mask off and see the reality of the world around you: everyone is making it through their own struggles, their own way.  That’s the thing though: everyone is making it through. The Earth hasn’t stopped spinning and people with struggles are not spontaneously combusting. Everyone is fighting through, day-by-day, because that’s life.  Life is not about having the perfect picture, but rather about making it through our struggles, scarred and bruised, and coming out the other side with a smile on our face.

I think life might even want us to embrace our baggage and our wreckage.  It is the moments with no direction that truly determine who we are. It is when nothing is given to us on a silver platter that we find our strength, determination, and path.  We live in a society that so badly wants to stuff our struggles under the carpet, but when we do that, we lose out on showing the world the most beautiful and bright parts of ourselves.  

 

Advertisements
2018 Year in Review: Part Two

2018 Year in Review: Part Two

How do you a measure a year in the life?

I’m continuing yesterday’s year in review and looking through my experiences in 2018, month-by-month.  Here’s part two:

June: While May had been a month of many tearful goodbyes, June had many exciting reunions.  My childhood friend, Emma, came to visit from Ireland and we got our entire childhood friend group together for one day exploring Manhattan.  I saw my cousin, Sophia, again after many months apart and we enjoyed a wonderful summer night in Bryant Park. Soon, some of my Disney friends, Jenn and Ryan, even made appearances in Manhattan and I was overjoyed to be reunited with these people that I missed so dearly.  In June, I realized how blessed I was: I have so many amazing people in my life that bring so much joy into the world.

July: July is always my favorite month, as it is my birth month (I am a proud cancer), and this July was as wonderful as ones in the past.  I spent Fourth of July with my friend, Sam, who could rival Captain America with his patriotism. Soon, the event I had been waiting for for months approached: the Taylor Swift concert.  I boarded my bus to D.C., eager to see her perform and see some of my good friends. Her concert was one of the greatest nights of my life, even if we did almost end up stranded in suburban Maryland.  Scream-singing Taylor Swift songs with your friends is so much more fun when Taylor Swift is singing live. I also reunited with an old friend, Sunny, on this trip: Sunny and I had done a summer program years ago together and kept in touch.  She and I got lunch in D.C. and then had a fabulous night when she visited New York a few weeks later. I also reunited with a great friend from high school debate, Katie. Friendships like Sunny and Katie’s are so meaningful to me: no matter how long apart you are, when you reunite, it’s like no time has passed.  

August: August included returns to two of my favorite places: Disney and Georgetown.  Thanks to my sister who gifted me plane tickets to Florida for my birthday and my dear friends who housed me for a week, I was able to return to Orlando one last time before school started.  And, what a wonderful week it was! I went to Universal and went on drives with Kelsey, I spent days running around the Disney parks with my friend, Kelly, I spent hour meandering Disney Springs and the surrounding hotels with another friend, Abby, and I spent days by the pool with Julie.  I never wanted the trip to end, but it soon did and led to my return to Georgetown. Once I arrived, I realized I had forgotten how dearly I missed this place and was excited to be reunited with great friends and my activities, such as the school newspaper, The Hoya.

September: September brought the start of school and with that, the start of club recruitment season.  As social media editor for The Hoya, I found many of my days being consumed by working on my daily tasks, such as best promoting the content, and working to best publicize our application and lead recruitment.  I wouldn’t have it any other way though– the hours I spent with friends at the paper are hours I cherish. In particular, this paper brought me a new friendship this month with a girl named Kathryn. Kathryn is now one of my most treasured friendships and I am so grateful for this organization for bringing us together.  In addition to newspaper recruitment, I also had sorority recruitment this month. Sorority recruitment is stressful for all but I loved getting to spend time with all of my sisters (and all the free food) and welcome in an amazing new pledge class.

October: October went by in a blur.  I went home for the first time this semester and had an amazing time apple-picking with my mom and sister and exploring a local fair. October also brought one of my greatest joys and biggest excitements: the launching of this blog!  I am so happy to have started this journey with you all. This month though also proved my most challenging of the year, as I struggled to keep up with all of my commitments, while still maintaining my mental health and practicing self-care.  I had some failures in October, but these failures just helped make my direction even clearer.

November: November was a month of smiles.  It started with getting my two amazing littles who I adore and am so happy to have them join my little sorority family (shoutout to Emma for being the world’s best sorority twin).  It continued with a wonderful newspaper photoshoot with my social media team. Thanksgiving was a welcome trip home and I enjoyed spending time with my family (especially my puppy, Luna) and friends for the weekend.  Returning to school brought my favorite night of the semester: last night of production for the semester of the newspaper. This night was so much fun and when it was over, I found myself wanting to press pause on life and just live in the happiness that existed in these moments forever.  I truly love the people I got to work with this semester– they have become my support system, my motivation, and my great friends. I am so grateful to have them.

December: The beginning of December brought wonderful nights of dancing and too many days of goodbyes.  With formals for both my sorority and the newspaper, I got to spend great nights, dressed to the nines, dancing and singing with great friends.  However, these nights soon turned to goodbyes, as many of my friends are going abroad next semester. I am going to miss them all so much, but I cannot wait to reunite in the fall.  Speaking of reunions, I was able to reunite with a few Disney friends this month and these moments make me smile so bright. I am so happy these friendships withstand distance and are still so strong.  The latter part of this month has been at home, where I’ve been going on many adventures with my family. It’s been a great time, getting to truly enjoy being with family.

I think back to where I was last December and I cannot believe the difference a year can make.  I come back to thinking of Seasons of Love and another lyric:

 

Measure your life in love.

 

This year, I was blessed with so much love and that love changed me.  Love has the power to change the world, if we open ourselves up to it.  Thank you to everyone who has made this year filled with so much joy– you are so special.  

 

2019, you have big shoes to fill but if you’re anything like 2018, it’ll be a year full of new dreams and adventures.  I can’t wait.

 

The Days with No Name: Living in the Moment and Adventures at Tiffany’s

The Days with No Name: Living in the Moment and Adventures at Tiffany’s

The days between Christmas and New Year’s Eve may be the strangest that the year has to offer.   It’s a no man’s land in a sense: there’s no sense of time or urgency in these days. Wednesdays slip into Thursdays and Thursdays slip into Saturdays without anyone realizing or even batting an eyelash over where Friday disappeared to.  I might be weird and it may shock some considering my love of Christmas, but these are my favorite days of the year. There’s something refreshing about losing the stress culture society’s gotten us to buy into over the years: anything is possible in these days.

This year, I’m spending these days doing things I love to do.  I’m writing blog posts, I’m taking photos, I’m spending time with loved ones.  And so far, these days have been wonderful. Wednesday, I spent the day watching Marvelous Mrs. Maisel with my mom before eating at an all you can eat sushi restaurant nearby for dinner.  There was nothing extravagant about the day, but that’s what made it so wonderful– there was no stress, no pressure, no worries.

Thursday, I went into New York City with my mom to go to Blue Box Cafe at Tiffany’s.

IMG_1275.jpg
My mom and I at Blue Box Cafe

 I have wanted to go here since they opened and so, a month ago, I frantically got on my computer exactly at 9 AM to make a reservation and I will admit, those minutes were some of the most stressful of my life as I watched reservations be booked out for the day in only five minutes.  But, it was all worth it. I don’t think there’s a better way to deserve my love for Tiffany’s than by providing my favorite monologue from all of Breakfast at Tiffany’s:

“The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you’re afraid and you don’t know what you’re afraid of. Do you ever get that feeling? …Well, when I get it the only thing that does any good is to jump in a cab and go to Tiffany’s. Calms me down right away. The quietness and the proud look of it. Nothing very bad could happen to you there. If I could find a real-life place that’d make me feel like Tiffany’s, then — then I’d buy some furniture and give the cat a name!”

There is nothing like Tiffany’s and no better time to enjoy it than this strange little holiday season.  After Tiffany’s, my mom and I continued to enjoy the city, browsing through Bergdorf’s and Bendel’s, before making it to New York’s craziest spot: the Christmas tree.  Even with all the crowds and the pushing and shoving, I can’t help but marvel at it. It’s spectacular.

Looking forward from here, my plans aren’t so clear.  I’ll meet some friends here and there, work on my blog and internship applications, and just enjoy these moments.  The thing about these days is that they are very finite: I know the second the clock strikes midnight and rings in 2019 that it is all over.  The dates will become clear again, everyone will be back to work– I’ll have only a week left at home before I return to school again and a new semester will begin.  In these days, it’s like the whole world is Cinderella at the ball, but reality will strike again. For now, I plan to appreciate these days as much as I can and take joy in whatever life gives to me.

 

Where are you, Christmas?

Where are you, Christmas?

Where are you Christmas?  Why can’t I find you?

Lately, I’ve been in a bit of slump and I’ve been trying to cover it up with excitement, but the truth is: this year is missing some Christmas spirit for me.  I’m not sure exactly why– maybe, it’s the aftermath of a stressful finals period and now the waiting for final grades to be released or maybe, it’s the rushed feeling that has been in my home as we struggle to get everything done in time for the holiday or maybe, it’s even the distress that comes along with following politics this season.  Whatever it is, something just feels off to me.

I think admitting that we can’t feel the holiday cheer is something hard for a lot of us to do.  What is wrong with us that we don’t just feel overjoyed this season? In almost every Christmas movie, the people who don’t feel Christmas cheer are often villains or mean people. They live quite unhappy and grouchy lives until someone opens their eyes to how great Christmas can be (often by going to some small, adorable town where they find love and community). But, sometimes, not feeling the holiday spirit doesn’t mean you’re a grinch or have let the season go.  In fact, sometimes, it’s exactly the opposite: you want more than anything to be able to feel the Christmas cheer that everyone else seems to feel.

Right now, I’m at a personal struggle.  Christmas is my absolute favorite time of year and I told myself that finals were just a blip in my Christmas spirit radar.  I would spend a week unhappy, but then I could get back to happiness and excitement. I came home though and found that was not the case– no matter how many Christmas songs I listen to or movies I watch, something just feels off.  

A hard part of self-care is checking in with where you’re at emotionally and not beating yourself up if you aren’t where you want to be.  It is okay to not feel overwhelmed with excitement during Christmas, even if you wish you were. It is okay to feel sad or alone or confused.  I’ve said it before, but I think we, myself included, could all do to hear it again: it is okay to still be human during the holidays.

Despite this all, I’m still holding out hope that I can find my perfect Christmas cheer again.   Maybe, I’ve been looking in the wrong places.  Maybe, Christmas spirit doesn’t live in hundreds of cookies or fancy wrapped boxes with ribbon or pretty decorations around the house.  Maybe, every Christmas movie does have it right: it’s in the love that’s all around us every day.

 

Ranking my favorite Christmas movies!

Ranking my favorite Christmas movies!

From the time I was a child, the holidays have been the absolute most magical time of year to me.  One of the most magical parts of Christmas to me is the movies– there’s just no way not to feel Christmas joy when you watch ABC Family (now Freeform)’s 25 days of Christmas movie marathons. In college now, I don’t get to watch the 25 days of Christmas but during finals season when I get overwhelmed, I often take a break to watch a Christmas movie and afterwards, I always feel a bit more clarity and peace of mind.  Watching Christmas movies is my favorite holiday self-care activity.

In honor of us being exactly 20 days away from Christmas, I’m giving my ranking of my top five Christmas movies.  

  1. Love, Actually.  Recently, this movie has become the subject of much debate and unfortunately, hate, but I absolutely love it.  It has a million and one plot holes, the characters are ridiculous most of the time, but I can’t help but fall in love with this movie when Sam runs across the airport to declare his love to Joanna or the Prime Minister knocks on every door on a street in London to find the woman he loves.  It’s these truly outrageously cheesy moments that have me watching this movie at least five times every Christmas season, without fail.4099872673_2375d80dcf.jpg

 

Christmas Shoes.  This movie, I believe, is the most underappreciated Christmas movie ever.  It’s a made-for-TV movie that aired on CBS and starred Rob Lowe. It’s also based upon one of my favorite Christmas songs.  This movie makes me cry my eyes out, but reminds me of the true meaning of Christmas: love and giving. It is a movie that should not be missed.879319287_257fb71233_b.jpg

3. The Polar Express.  I remember going to see this movie in 3D in theaters when it came out and feeling so absolutely immersed– my dad can tell you, I kept reaching my hand out to try to grab the ticket.  I walked out feeling like I had just been at the North Pole and seen Santa himself. I even put one of the reindeer’s bells on my Christmas list the next year, desperately wanting to live the Polar Express.  Even today when I’m older, I feel that same type of magic for the Polar Express– it’s like I’m there at the North Pole each time I watch it.The_polar_express_logo.png

2. The Santa Clause.  In my house, this movie is the ULTIMATE classic.  It’s one of few movies that can get us to all gather up together in the living room to watch, without anyone complaining that they wanted to watch a different movie.  Tim Allen will forever be my favorite Santa Clause– he’s hysterical in his original denial of the Christmas spirit and eventual complete embrace.

6202aec7-b0e0-4328-ac67-611849a56745.jpg

DRUM ROLL, PLEASE!
1. The Year Without a Santa Clause. They call me Heat Miser, whatever I touch starts to melt in my clutch.  Heat Miser and Snow Miser are two of my favorite Christmas characters ever and the Miser song is so great– I lowkey quote it all year.  It also features another classic Christmas song, Blue Christmas. This movie just leaves me feeling so happy at the end and I just feel like it has the warm-fuzzy feeling you expect of Christmas.  

heat-miser-snow-miser-1.jpg

It’s a Wonderful Life: Finding Meaning for the Season

It’s a Wonderful Life: Finding Meaning for the Season

There is nothing I love more in this world than Christmas music… except, maybe Christmas cookies and decorations.  The entire season excites me so much and despite the shorter hours of daylight and the chillier temperatures, I can’t help but smile when I see a house decorated with lights or a wreath hanging on a door.  It’s a special time of year.

I’ll admit, all of that sounds superficial.  What difference does some twinkly lights make to our lives?  Well, I believe that all the beauty and decor that goes along with Christmas just helps to stand in for what the season really means: hope.

The holidays bring us together.  In my family, we have a tradition of baking Christmas cookies.  When I was a little girl, this would be a whole day activity with all my aunts and uncles. Today, the tradition has become just my mom and I as many of our relatives have passed away, but when we bake our family recipe of strufoli, it’s like they’re still with us.  I can hear my Aunt Loretta’s laughter in the kitchen and my Uncle Joey’s patient voice as he explains to me how you have to roll the dough. In those moments of baking, I feel so much hope that my family is still with me. My mom and I always grow closer after a day of baking, because I know she feels it too.  Our family is not lost from us, but within us. In those moments, I can’t help but feel hope that the world is a beautiful place, because my family is made of the most beautiful people and if they’re still with me in some way, life has to be spectacular.

This year, I’m trying to bring this feeling of hope I get from my family holiday traditions to everyone I know.  I’m hosting a Christmas party, I’m getting a group together to spend an afternoon decorating cookies, and I’m volunteering in my community.  Life is so stressful and hard most of the time– I want people to be able to take a moment to see it is still beautiful. I want people to feel hopeful and excited for the future.

When I look at Christmas decorations, I see so much beauty in this world.  I see people just trying to make the world a happier place, one light at a time.  When I participate in gift exchange, I feel so much care and affection. Someone took time to think of what would make me happy.  When I listen to a Christmas song, I smile because this is a season that brings people together and brings out the best in them.

This holiday season, let yourself be filled with hope that the world is still a happy and caring place.  Let yourself believe that the world is good and there’s so much more than your daily stress. That hope you feel inside when you do, that’s what Christmas is all about.  

It really is a wonderful life.

 

Gift Guide #3: Secret Santa Gifts for $20 and Under

Gift Guide #3: Secret Santa Gifts for $20 and Under

A Christmas tradition that never fails to stress everyone out is Secret Santa.  Maybe, you pulled the name of your best friend and have no idea how to get them a good enough gift in $20 or less or maybe, you pulled the name of someone you’ve never spoken two words too.  Have no fear, I’ve compiled a list of the best Secret Santa gifts for $20 or less so you can enjoy this holiday tradition, instead of stressing.

$10 and Under

Toysmith Mini Ping Pong Set: $5.62

Screen Shot 2018-11-29 at 11.26.06 PM.png

Tea Bag Shaped Tea Infuser: $5.95

Screen Shot 2018-11-29 at 11.27.50 PM.png

Cable Bite: $6.00

Screen Shot 2018-11-29 at 11.43.43 PM.png

Mini Double Chocolate Cocoa: $6.95

Screen Shot 2018-11-29 at 11.45.15 PM.png

Sugarfina x The Grinch Super Sour Hearts (or any Sugarfina candy makes for a great gift!): $8.50

Screen Shot 2018-11-29 at 11.47.29 PM.png

Satin Bow-Tied Hair Tie Set: $9.60

Screen Shot 2018-11-30 at 12.01.06 AM.png

Dash Red Mini Waffle Maker: $9.99

Screen Shot 2018-11-29 at 11.50.37 PM.png

Star Wars: May the Force Be With You Mug: $9.99

Screen Shot 2018-11-29 at 11.54.24 PM.png

George & Viv Gifting Bar Soap: $10

Screen Shot 2018-11-29 at 11.56.56 PM.png

$15 and Under

Acrylic 3×3 Block Picture Frame: $11.95

Screen Shot 2018-11-29 at 11.58.11 PM.png

Stamped & Cashed Dancing Queen Cuff: $12 but 15% off with my code PIXIEDUST until 12/20

Screen Shot 2018-11-29 at 11.59.15 PM.png

Keep Cool Face Mask Set: $12

Screen Shot 2018-11-30 at 12.02.46 AM.png

Make + Model Butter Socks: $12

Screen Shot 2018-11-30 at 12.04.56 AM.png

Oooh Yeah Men’s Luxury Combed Cotton Crew Socks Pizza Party Large Socks: $12

Screen Shot 2018-11-30 at 12.06.27 AM.png

Easy, Tiger, 12 oz Goil Foil Stackable Mug, “No”: $12

Screen Shot 2018-11-30 at 12.07.31 AM.png

Let It Snow Layered Cookie Mix: $12.95

Screen Shot 2018-11-30 at 12.08.44 AM.png

Acrylic Watch Hat: $12.99

Screen Shot 2018-11-30 at 12.10.37 AM.png

Fantastic Cities: A Coloring Book of Amazing Places Real and Imagined: $13.46

Screen Shot 2018-11-30 at 12.12.54 AM.png

L’Occitane Shea Butter Ornament Set: $14

Screen Shot 2018-11-30 at 12.13.55 AM.png

Monogram Lidded Jewelry Box: $14

Screen Shot 2018-11-30 at 12.15.40 AM.png

$20 and Under

HoMedics Essential Oils: $14.99-$19.99

Screen Shot 2018-11-30 at 12.20.25 AM.png

Fredericks & Mae Paper Games: Dots & Boxes: $17.96

Screen Shot 2018-11-30 at 12.22.23 AM.png

Kate Spade New York What Do You Say Tumbler with Straw: $18

Screen Shot 2018-11-30 at 12.21.40 AM.png

Hat and Scarf: $18.99

Screen Shot 2018-11-30 at 12.23.50 AM.png

Coziest Throw- Space Dyed: $19

Screen Shot 2018-11-30 at 12.25.39 AM.png

Fleece Block Checked Large Blanket: $19.90

Screen Shot 2018-11-30 at 12.27.16 AM.png